This film has so much story in it, so much fucking useless nonsenical information pummeled into every single scene, that there is no room for anything else. There’s no room for nuance, no room for character development, no room for logic, emotion, or even true excitement (admittedly, Bay has never excelled at putting any of these things on camera, at least during the Transformers movies). It’s a non-stop, pedal-to-the-metal, overstuffed symphony of exposition filled with more bad moments than good. And the whole thing is executed with such a staggering over-seriousness that would make the new DC universe blush, fuck even when it attempts moments of levity, they almost always fall flat...
Read more'Project Almanac' Movie Review
In layman's terms, Project Almanac is nothing more than a dumbed down version of Primer, but marketed for the Cloverfield crowd. It’s sort of fun, but undeniably flawed - the film has an intriguing time-travel premise that it commits to for over half the movie’s run time before just flat out giving up on it. You get the sense that trying to maintain the twisting timeline was just too exhausting, and the creative team of Platinum Dunes (Michael Bay’s company) pretty much assumed its core audience that showed wouldn’t sweat the details and just decided, "lets show more concert footage of these kids partying". Almanac basically pretends to be intelligent long enough to get my hopes up, then reveals its true colors as a superficial, silly genre rip-off aimed at teens...
Read moreThe Worst and Most Disappointing Films of 2014
2014 was a great year for cinema, but needless to say there were more than its fair share of duds. Some movies that didn’t live up to expectations, and some that just leave you wondering what studio agreed to sign off on this? With a list like this, it's hard to not come off as an Internet troll, so I’ve tried my darnedest to at least highlight one or two things about some of the movies that they got right, however brief that may be. Assembling this list might be considered a labor of hate, but I like to think of it as a community service: Think of it as a handy guide to the films you shouldn’t catch up with on VOD.
Read more